The following principles are some thoughts that I shared with our Bible study group about practical ways in which we could develop more personal relationships and humbly attempt to bless one another.
Send each other constant reminders of the good news of God's grace found in Jesus Christ. Send each other an encouraging sms, email, card, or letter. God has given us words to use for His glory. Send a sms with a reminder that you are praying for them; send a sms with a Bible reference (this is a good way to make sure your friends are reading the Bible). Send an email and ask how their day was. Emails are a great way to send links to good websites with solid biblical teachings and good music. Send someone an email with a link to a sermon or a song that you think will be inspirational or helpful for them. A hand-written note will also show people how much you value them. Our goal is to “encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13). Encouragement starts with small things. Little things can destroy, but little things can also build up. We must never forget that words of encouragement which are seemingly insignificant are incredibly powerful spiritual weapons. Encouraging words can destroy the clouds of confusion and lift the darkness of spiritual depression. Remembering to tell the pastor or teacher that you appreciate their teaching, even if you don't understand everything is vital for them. Telling each other that you appreciate their help is crucial. Saying a simple “Thank you” makes a world of difference in many situations. Our goal is to “comfort one another with God's word” (1 Thess 4:18). We are slow and forgetful by nature; do not let others forget that God loves them and that you love them too. Let us all aim to be diligent in sending each other reminders of the gospel every day.
Share your possessions with each other as special needs arise within the group. Make sure that they know that you value them more than you value money or “stuff.” Pay for someone's drink or dinner, invite them for a ice-cream, or let them borrow your car for shopping, etc. The fastest way to fight the dreaded sin of selfishness is to share something that is valuable to you with someone else. The early church demonstrated this sacrificial sharing in an unmistakable way: “not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them” (Acts 4:32). True sharing focuses on needs not wants, so discretion is always important. But we more often fail in the area of being too cautious or suspicious of giving to others, rather than being generous and gracious by sharing our “stuff” with them. Everything you have belongs to God and has been given to you by His hand. Those of us who have a lot of books and read voraciously should be more diligent in giving to others from our abundance of resources, not merely being content with lending. Remember that God is the owner and we are the managers of His resources. Let us all aim to use everything He has given to us for building His kingdom.
Spend as much valuable time together as possible for the purpose of building God's kingdom on earth. Let them know that time is important and that you like being in their presence. “I hope to see you shortly, and we will speak face to face” (3 John 14). Being in the presence of other Christians strengthens our hope, increases our faith, and brings us joy. We should never forsake meeting together regularly (Hebrews 10:25). In contrast to the early church, who met daily (Acts 2:46-47), the modern world, which has drawn us in to its dominating “hustle and bustle” lifestyle, often leaves us little time to be with others. Sometimes we think the goal of meeting together daily seems like an impossibility, but we neglect it to the detriment of our own spiritual vitality and joy. We will be together in eternity, so we should start spending time together now. We should long to see each other (1 Thess 3:6). You could watch a film together with friends and discuss it, or go to a pub and talk about life, or go to the park and relax, or take a walk and enjoy God's beautiful creation together. All of life is spiritual and that includes just “hanging-out.” Spending quality time together may prove to be the least appreciated blessing that we so very often take for granted in modern society. Let us all aim to spend more quality time together.
Speak with each other as much as possible in order to promote each others' progress and joy in the faith. Again, God has given us the gift of language to be used for expressing His glory. We are never to abuse or misuse language in deceptive ways, but to use this wonderful gift as a tool for building up God's kingdom. Let others know that you care about who they are, and that you are interested in their calling, dreams, hopes, vision, and goals. Get to know people from the inside-out. Ask them questions. Ask questions about what is important to them. We are to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Speak about your problems. Confess your sins to each other (James 5:16). Speak about your successes. Just open up your life and share your heart. Speaking with each other implies that you must also learn how to listen actively and with a compassionate heart. So be careful how much you speak and how much listen. Let us all aim to speak more openly, freely, honestly, frequently, and encouragingly with each other for our progress and joy in the faith (Philippians 1:25).
Show each other with your every action that you truly love one another and that you are committed to living for the glory of God. We are to do “all to the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). All of our actions are to bear the distinctive Christian mark of true love which is aimed at glorying God. The world will see how much we love Jesus by the way we love each other (John 13:35). So, “let us love one another” (1 John 4:7). We have to live our lives in such a way that our light is shining before the world. Mainly, that means that unbelievers will take notice of the way we treat each other and see the love of God. We must “show tolerance for one another in love” (Eph 4:2). The light of truth must shine, but the life of love must show that God is real. They should see truth and love emanating from your life and be attracted to God through your good deeds (Matthew 5:16). Let us all aim to prove that we love God and each other more deeply and truly through our actions.
Serve each other in very practical ways through hospitality and acts of kindness. Let them know that you are willing to be a servant. Primarily this service should be in the exercise of your spiritual gifts, but do not let your own gifting from God become an excuse for failure to take initiative in other areas of service. Even if you are not especially gifted in one particular area (e.g., planning, teaching, helping, etc.) you can still be willing to serve in that area of need. Perhaps your act of service will become the one that will make the greatest contribution and bring immense joy to the entire group. You must be willing to grow in an area which you are bad in. God will reward your faith. Just try something you have never done before and watch God do a miracle. As William Carey said, “Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.” Be bold and do something! That means we all need to get better in a lot of areas. “Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Peter 4:9). Let us all aim to be more hospitable and kind.
Sacrifice yourself for each other when you don't know what else to do by offering your own life. Let them know that you are willing to personally sacrifice for them even if you don't fully understand what is going on in their life. Ask them, “How can I help you with the problems you are facing?” Ask them, “What specific task can I do for you this week that will help you be able to grow spiritually?” Ask them, “Is there something which I can do for you which would help you to be a more faithful witness for Jesus?” Perhaps we will not be called to lay our lives down physically, but we can do it spiritually by offering our time, talents, and treasures. Let us all aim to show that we truly love each other by making personal sacrifices (1 John 3:16).
Seek the benefit and blessing of the others not only gaining the best for yourself. We are to consider others more important than ourselves. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). Support each other with your prayers (James 5:16). Your heart should be so full of love and concern for others that you simply can't help but to pray for them. We must acknowledge that failure to pray for others is a tragic sin (1 Samuel 12:23). Do something that will make others more joyful in Jesus. Let us all forsake selfishness and follow the way of Jesus by seeking the benefit and blessing of others.
Strive to help each other meet personal goals and to develop the art of spiritual disciplines. Let them know that you care for them enough to help them grow in sanctification. We must remember that sanctification is a process. We are to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge” (Prov 12:1). Therefore, we absolutely must hold each other accountable for our actions. Ask each other, “What can I do for you to help you have more time to study and pray this week.” “Discipline yourself for purpose of godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7). Words alone are not good enough; you must work together at learning discipline (Proverbs 29:19). Don't just speak about prayer; pray together! Don't talk about evangelism; go share the gospel with someone together. Let us all strive to help each other in pursuing God through the spiritual disciplines.
Study the Bible together, especially important foundational doctrines and topics that are relevant to your calling and problems in life. Study a doctrine together and discuss it. Study in smaller and larger groups. Spend time on Sundays discussing the sermon or other issues on your heart. Study topics that are related to your calling in life. If you are a teacher, study what the Bible says about teaching. If you are a businessman, study business books from a Christian perspective. You may never grasp the meaning of the intricate details of biblical prophecy, but you can understand and fulfill your duties concerning your job: “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23). Let us all be more diligent to study, memorize, meditate upon, and obey God's word.
Words of Wisdom: 3 Practical Helps for Building Community
(1) Be intentional. Even if you feel a little uncomfortable with building relationships, do it anyway! Be disciplined and deliberate in building community. Doing something voluntarily does not mean that it must be done without planning. If you want to watch films every Thursday...fine. If you want to send an email every Monday...fine. If you send a prayer sms every Friday morning...good. Contrary to popular belief, discipline is not a disease; it is an excellent tool for your growth in holiness, so consider it a wonderful blessing from God. Paul wrote, “I am determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified” (1 Cor 2:2). All of these principles will become nothing more than burdens unless your heart is passionate and willing to obey God in order to love Him and others. So trust God and be intentional.
(2) Be creative. Even if you are not entirely good at something, do it anyway! We must be constantly finding new and fresh ways to serve one another in order to express love and truth for the glory of God. Martyn Lloyd-Jones wisely reminds us: “As Christians we must all do the same essential things, but the way in which we do them is different.” Personal diversity in communal unity is how God expresses His glory. Even if your creativity is not on the level of DaVinci, don't worry! Just realize that others will not condemn you for trying to express yourself in order to honor God and to love them. Making mistakes in the area of creativity is better than not doing anything at all. Christians are “being led by the Spirit of God” (Romans 8:14), so trust God to lead you, and be creative.
(3) Be proactive. Even if nobody else wants to do something, you do it anyway! Be proactive! Be like Jesus! Don't be lazy! The grace of God motivates us to work and to make changes, not merely to sit and respond to everything that happens around us. Proactive means initiating change rather than merely reacting to circumstances. You must anticipate that things will not always go as you have planned, but you must believe that God is “working all things out in accordance with His will” (Ephesians 1:11). Do not try to be overtly legalistic but trust God and “keep in step with the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25). So trust God and be proactive!
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